Tidbits from my daily-life

There are miriads of posts like the one I am linking to today, but I thought I might want to put this one:

http://cubicledenizen.blogspot.com/2008/01/political-correctness-gone-bad.html

Politically Correct Terms For Females:

• Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
• She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
• She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
• She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
• She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.
• She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.
• She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
• She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled.
• She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.
• She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located.
• She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.
• She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.
• She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.
• She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.
• She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
• She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.
• She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.
• She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic
• She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
• She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.
• She is not A Gossip, She is a Verbal Terminator
• She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.
• She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.
• She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.
• She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.
• She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
• She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.
• She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever.
• You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

Politically Correct Terms For Males:

• He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
• He does not: Hog the blankets He is: Thermally unappreciative
• He is not: Unsophisticated He is: Socially malformed
• He does not: Eat like a pig He suffers from: Reverse bulimia
• He is not: A sex machine He is: Romantically automated
• He is not a: Male chauvinist pig He has: Swine empathy
• He is not: Quiet He is a: Conversational minimalist
• You do not: Undress him with your eyes You have a: Introspective pornographic moment
• He is not: Afraid of commitment He is: Monogamously challenged
• He does not have a: Fabulous rear end He has achieved: Buttocks perfection
• He is not: Stupid He suffers from: Minimal cranial development
• He does not: Get lost all the time He discovers: Alternative destinations
• He is not: Balding He is in: Follicle regression
• You do not: Buy him a drink You initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange
• He does not: Fart and belch He is: Gastronomically expressive
• His jeans are not: Too tight He is: Anatomically under circulated
• He is not a: Redneck He is a: Genetically-related American
• You do not: Kiss him You become: Facially conjoined
• He is not a: Cradle robber He prefers: Generationally differential relationships
• He does not get: Falling down drunk He becomes: Accidentally horizontal
• He does not: Act like a total jerk He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion
• He is not: Short He is: Anatomically compact
• He does not have a: Rich daddy He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion
• He does not: Constantly talk about cars He has a: Vehicular addiction
• He does not have a: Hot body He is: Physically combustible!